


Don't Ask, Don't Tell

by Saucery



Category: Merlin (BBC)
Genre: BDSM, Bad BDSM Etiquette, Bondage, Coming Out, Crack, Gay Rights, Humor, M/M, Magic, Magic Revealed, Sex Magic, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-03-27
Updated: 2011-03-27
Packaged: 2017-10-17 07:42:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/174501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saucery/pseuds/Saucery
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin comes out. Except that he doesn't. Except that he does.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Ask, Don't Tell

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Trojie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trojie/gifts).



> I actually wrote this ages ago, and then... kind of forgot to post it. Because that is apparently what I do. Um. Sorry?
> 
> Can be read as a subtle critique of the American military's (mis)handling of gay rights - or just as a really _ham_ -handed critique of Merlin's bondage skills. Take your pick.
> 
> Or, you know, _don't_. :D

The third time Arthur ended up face-down in the pillows with tasseled cords around his wrists, _but without anyone to tie them on_ , Arthur decided that he and Merlin had to Talk. With a capital T.

"Merlin," said Arthur, "we have to Talk."

Merlin pretended that he didn't hear Arthur, and also that Arthur wasn't being dragged up the bed by his own bed-curtains, one wrapped around each of his limbs.

" _Merlin_ ," repeated Arthur, "I think it's become clear that either you are a wizard, or you've been ensorcelled _by_ a wizard."

"Don't know what you're talking about," Merlin said, and continued to suck bruises onto Arthur's buttocks.

"Merlin," Arthur rasped, "you _pillock_ \- it's obvious that - "

"Can't hear you," Merlin said, and then, of course, he _couldn't_ hear Arthur, because Arthur couldn't _speak_ , because the blasted sheets had decided to bunch themselves into a handy gag and shove themselves into Arthur's _mouth_.

"Fnurgle," growled Arthur, "thoks," which roughly translated to: "Once we're done here, you're going to the _stocks_."

"Mmm," hummed Merlin, still busy practicing his own version of Camelot's policy of 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell'. He flipped Arthur over, aided by at least five distinct varieties of bedding, and smiled down at Arthur beatifically. "I can't possibly be a wizard, my lord," he said, as Arthur glared up at him. "You said so yourself."

 _Well,_ Arthur reflected, after the tasseled ends of those cords had teased his fourth orgasm out of him, _we can always talk later._

Predictably, they never did.

  


  
**fin.**   


  


Please review!


End file.
